The Real Problem With Bullying


Bullying. It’s a very real issue, a very real and hot button issue to be more specific. On my drive home tonight, I heard a commercial on the radio with a motive to stop bullying. It seems all the anti-bullying campaigns are focusing on how to STOP bullying. A very honorable effort, but I believe the approach is a bit off target.

Before I go any further, let me just clarify my stance on this topic: BULLYING IS WRONG. There is never an instance when it is right and it should not be accepted, nor tolerated. Bullying should be reprimanded and others should not have to be subject to those whom choose to bully.

No Bullies Allowed|Image Source|

Now, that being said, I really don’t think the approach to this issue should be focused on how we can STOP bullying, but it is the approach most commonly taken. Instead, I believe the focus should be on how to PREVENT bullying from happening. Sure, the difference between the two may seem minor at first, but there is a very real difference between the way each of those tactics is carried out. Pouring efforts into stopping something that is already happening is often just a band-aid on the deeper issue at hand. To stop is to bring to an end. Basically something is already in motion and you/something causes it to come to an end.

An admirable approach; however, the approach that leads us toward non-existence of this problem is in prevention. To prevent is to keep something from happening or arising. Prevention goes to the root of the cause and eliminates the problem before it begins.

You are probably asking how we can prevent bullying from happening. My answer is, in each and every one of your homes and in each and every one of your own hearts. I don’t think it’s coincidence that we see more and more cases of intense and dangerous bullying happening these days while kids are simultaneously being raised more frequently in broken homes from rocky backgrounds. I don’t believe all of the bullies out there are intrinsically evil, rather they don’ t see or experience love in their own homes. How is a child supposed to understand the meaning of love and respect for another human being if they can’t even see love in action in their very home?

Prevention of bullying starts with the basics. Teaching by example the meaning of love is where it begins. Love – it stems from and can be learned so readily from the family unit. Oh, the incredible importance of a well-rounded family unit! Love pours forth from that very family unit and when love is planted and cultivated in people’s hearts, they are more fully equipped to be able to love in return. One can only give what they have. If one has not received love, he/she is not fully capable of giving love. In effect, bullying is born out of a lack of love (or lack of understanding of love) somewhere along the line. If a child grows up without understanding and learning love in their own home, what is their incentive to love anyone else? What will it take to motivate them to love others?

Now there are always exceptions and outliers to these generalizations, because everyone comes from unique circumstances, but the common thread  that is unwavering, steady, and dependable is love. Love is the foundation.

If you’re tired of all the hype surrounding the issue of bullying these days and if you truly want to see a resolution, it begins in the home and it begins with love. If we all chose to teach love to one another by really putting it in motion, the issue of bullying would melt away.

Laughs and Love,


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  1. says

    It’s funny that you posted this today. I just watched a commercial on the Disney channel about bullying last night. I was thinking to myself, are we not getting a little crazy about this “bullying” thing???? I think it is a problem, but I wonder sometimes if we’re getting to the point where “everything” falls under the category of bullying. Kids will pick on each other. It’s a fact of life. I don’t think there’s a kid out there who has never felt “picked on”. Grown ups are also doing it, on a daily basis! I have always seen bullying as a bit different, though… kind of like the next level. That being said, I don’t think either one is right. But there’s so much hype over the bullying problem, when I want to say the exact same thing you are saying, Jackie! “It’s our families, people!” Our children are screaming to be loved, for someone to pay attention to them. It starts at home. I see this every day in my job. It’s so frustrating. I have a few kids right now who do things that are wrong on a regular basis. I analyze, “Why are they doing this?” “What am I doing wrong?” “What can I change?” “How can I fix this?” It physically hurts to see children being so mean to each other. Children who don’t seem to have a care as to how others feel, unable to sympathize with others. With 1 child, I am 100% certain that it’s because he gets no attention at home. And attention from doing bad things is certainly better than no attention at all. I’m saying this b/c I think that’s his reasoning, not b/c I believe bad attention is better than none at all. Please don’t get me wrong. There are so many good kids out there, doing beautiful things. I just want more for all of my students.

What are your thoughts?