Killing me. This song is killing me. When I hear a song and it strikes a chord with me, I WEAR IT OUT. Right now, ‘Keep Making Me’ by the Sidewalk Prophets has been on repeat in my car for days. The reason is because it’s my truth. This is why it’s resonating deep in my heart. I’m a total work in progress at all stages in my life and right now, I feel the Lord ‘keeps making me’ change. Change into something different, but something better. He’s breaking me down and tearing away all the things I used to think were important. He’s striping me of all the ‘securities’ I once thought were actually safe.
Although I know the devil wants me to feel alone in my journey of learning to reject worldliness and striving to become better, to become who I was made to be, I refuse to feel alone in my journey. I know, without a doubt I am not alone. Someone else out there (even if only one other person) has felt these same emotions and experienced this same cleansing process. Lord Keep Making Me…
So here’s a line-by-line of how this song speaks to me.
Make me broken – I never thought I was broken, but God showed me a different perspective of my life and of myself by literally making me broken (with a broken leg). The physical break, revealed to me the brokenness within my heart. I have, indeed, been made broken.
So I can be healed – But if I must be made broken so I can be healed, the reward is worth the pain of the healing process.
‘Cause I’m so calloused – Yup, my brokenness has made me calloused. No doubt that somewhere along my journey I’ve recognized my callousness and hardness of heart. I was wounded and broken, and need (still need) to be healed.
And now I can’t feel – I specifically remember the exact time in my life when I realized what it meant to be hardened of heart. I couldn’t feel like I usually felt. I didn’t experience feelings the same way I used to. I was hardened and emotionless.
I want to run to You – He’s the only one I could run to. I’d take the pain and the brokenness a million times over if it were the only thing to cause the yearning in my heart to run to Him.
With heart wide open – This is the hard part. With heart wide open. How do you really open your heart wide when you’ve been hurt and when the process of cleaning your heart out is painful?
Make me broken – I’ve certainly been broken, but had He not broken me -physically, emotionally, and spiritually – I would still be calloused.
Make me empty – Empty. There’s no feeling quite like it. I specifically remember feeling bottom of the tank, nothing left empty and hearing confirmation that empty is exactly where I was. Empty is lonely.
So I can be filled – I had to be emptied so I could prepare to be filled, but filled with Him this time around. Empty me of worldliness so I can be filled with nothing but You, Oh Lord.
‘Cause I’m still holding – Holding, indeed. With a death grip, even.
Onto my will – Yup, my will. My stupid, stupid will. Why would I ever think my will would be better than the Father’s? I don’t know, but I’m still inclined to hang onto my stupid, stupid will. It’s silly, I know, but I’m learning to let go. To surrender.
And I’m completed – Completed. What would it feel like to be completed? To feel whole? I’ll keep striving.
When you are with me – You, Lord, when YOU are with me. There is none other that I want with me, but you. Please be with me.
Make me empty – Make me empty, so I can be filled with YOU.
‘Til You are my one desire – Lord, I want You to be my one desire. For all the times, I’ve put other people and things before you, forgive me.
‘Til You are my one true love – True love. There will be no love like Yours, Lord. Teach me to love like You do. And teach me to accept Your love for me.
‘Til You are my breath, my everything – To be my breath. Could you be my breath, Lord? Could you be the words I speak, my every move, the breath I take? Be my breath, Lord.
Lord, please keep making me – Whatever it takes, no matter the price, please keep making me.
Make me lonely – Been there. Lonely. The veil was lifted. Blissful ignorance vanished and the stark reality of loneliness was revealed. You made me lonely. I had to experience that loneliness to desire You fully, though. If there was no other, Lord, but I still had You, I would cease to be lonely. If making me lonely was what it took to create a desire for You that burns deep within me, then make me lonely all over again.
So I can be Yours – Yours. I AM Yours. I don’t always believe it, but I am Yours.
‘Til I want no one – I shall not want. No one else could fill my longing for You. I shall not want.
More than You, Lord – You are the ultimate. You are the pinnacle. There is none better.
‘Cause in the darkness – Darkness is inevitable. It’s not a matter of ‘if,’ but rather ‘when’ the darkness will come.
I know You will hold me – Months, I spent months asking You to hold me. Hold me in Your arms late at night when I felt all alone; fore I know there is no other place I’d rather be, but in Your arms, in Your loving embrace.
Make me lonely – Make me lonely all over again if that is what it takes.
‘Til You are my one desire – The ONLY one.
‘Til You are my one true love – No love will be truer than Your love, Lord.
‘Til You are my breath, my everything – My EVERYTHING. I am nothing without You. Be my everything.
Lord, please keep making, – Never stop making me. Don’t give up on me.
I know You’ll keep making – Jesus, I trust in You. I trust You WILL keep making me.
Lord, please keep making me – Thank you for continuing to make me… YOURS.
This song reminds me so much of one of the Beatitudes; ‘Blessed are the clean of heart, for they shall see God.’ Lord, if you need to clean my heart out, to scrap the grit from deep down within because it’s the only way for me to see You, then let it be. Take the words of this song and scrape them upon my heart until I’m made into the person You want me to be.
Lord Keep Making Me…
Laughs and Love,